The Most SEO-UNfriendly Blog Post of All Time

I am skipping a proper introduction, because doing so would make it more SEO-friendly. I am using Yoast to help me assess how bad this blog post is.

The key phrase for this post is “SEO-unfriendly”.

This blog post deserves its crown because it:

  • Is less than 300 words
    • Actually, do you know how hard it is to it under 300 words when my strength is babbling?
  • Has no outbound links
    • Frankly speaking, I can’t think of anyone who wants to be linked.
  • Has no internal links
    • If my other blog posts had feelings, they probably wouldn’t want to be associated with this blog post, either. This post is like that bright banana Halloween costume when you are searching for a gown for your company’s year-end gala. Does it stand out? Of course! Useful? Meh.
  • Has no meta description
    • This is a challenge I am posing to Google. Find the most relevant part of my post for me please, because I don’t know where it is!
  • Has no image alt attributes
    • I have to cheat on this one just to satisfy my inner demon for consistency. I want this blog post to at least look like his siblings. But I refuse to add alt texts. The poor white question mark is probably asking, why am I here?!
  • Has no key phrase in introduction
    • Firstly, this blog post doesn’t even have a proper introduction. Why can’t you just add it to the first paragraph? Nope. Bella was shaking her head as she resolutely clicked the “Publish” button.
  • doesn’t have enough key phrase density
    • It is not very difficult to not use a certain phrase. I am here to defy search engine optimization.

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3 thoughts on “The Most SEO-UNfriendly Blog Post of All Time”

  1. Well that’s not bad at all.

    I always feel so judged when my readability isn’t green.

    Sure, my SEO doesn’t have to be “great”, but I at least though I knew how to be readable…

    Reply

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